Amalgam. Free verse

STRANGER

“Who are you?”
I asked the stranger
in the dark of the mirror.
And he answered:
“White loneliness
in the black separation
with Self”.


ESCAPE

the flocks of snow-white birds
are tearing away across the sky of hope
and their tired shadows
are rushing along
upon the salty waves –
away – away – away
from the blood-red sunset
and the approaching storm:
both birds and shadows
want to break through
the time and space
for not to disappear
in the dead night’s apocalyptic hush
soon after


BRAHMA

Have you ever been a nobody?
Have you ever been with no one?
Have you ever been to nowhere?
Have you ever had nothing?
Some day you will
’Cause I was
Nothing but the total loneliness
In the very beginning
Of my creation


THE TOCSIN

I heard
deep thunderous blows of the troubled tom bell,
breaking down the silence
in the dead of the night.
I did not know for whom the bell tolled,
but the sound meant a definite sign.
And then
I saw the light
with near-sighted eyes of my open mind
and realized
the tocsin was tolling deep inside,
it was the sound
of my anxious heart
that was desperately trying
to wake my sleeping soul
up


THE WRONG DESTINATION

If you came to this place
in search of yourself
you have obviously
confused the address
’cause your soul belongs
to another world


IN YOUR EYES

Watching the world
outside my window
I reach the conclusion:
it is unreal.

Watching the world
inside my door
I understand:
it’s a kind of fiction.

But when I gaze
into your angel eyes
I realize а simple thing:
this is the only real place 
where I can see
the evident truth
and find long-desired
peace of my mind.


LOSING MY FAITH

poor relief
hard to believe

losing my face
losing my faith

there’s no hope
in my empty heart

the door is closed
the windows are dark

that has been
nobody’s land, my dear
nobody’s heart ever since


А HUMAN

The woman
is also a human
although she comes
from another
Planet


THE WOMEN I LOVED

The women whom I loved
and who loved me –
they all now hate me
all of them
though many years have passed.
I know the reason
why it’s happened.
They gave me once
the most precious thing
they’d ever had:
they gave me bliss of their love.
And so did I.
They loved and also
they were loved.
And I am grateful. But they hate.
For them all gone now.
But not for me.
And they are sorry:
they can’t get back all that
they gave me once
because my heart possesses it.
But they’re not able
to possess me any more.
I didn’t used to love
but I’m still loving.
I’ll always be...


VICE VERSA

If once I fell down
from this fucking skyscraper
to become a human
then probably
I could make a kind of reverse?
I would fall down
from it again
to become an angel!
This place is
a lonely desert without her.
And there is no need
in this body any more,

He thought
sitting on the roof
of the forty-fourth floor.


* vice versa (latin) – backward, reverse


IF MIND IS SILENT

The truth comes into the mind
which is silent and peaceful.


JUST TRY AND STOP IT!

Just try to stop the minute hand
of the grandfather’s clock with your will
or the second hand
on your new shining Rolex.
Can’t you believe it? It doesn’t work!
Yes, buddy: it surely doesn’t.
A stupid thing, a hopeless thing, my friend!
Again fiasco, ah?..
Similarly, you cannot stop
increasing wrinkles around your eyes
and early hoar-frost on your temples.
Hey, look: even your beard
is getting black-and-white!
Similarly, you cannot stop
the fleeting moments of the summer
which you have waited for so long –
such a transient summer of your life.
And now
the early fall is waiting for you
in the garden of dreams
of the vernal bloom.
Similarly, you cannot stop the passenger train
or at least change its speed –
the train that’s carrying you
to some kind of nowhere:
is it the stop of arrival
or maybe the place of your destination?
It’s death, my friend –
the inevitable end of all your fucking expectations.
Just go and get it –
the sooner the better!
And have fun again: that’s only the beginning
of a new galanty show.


WHAT’S OUR LIFE?

Switch on the light!
Switch off the light!
One day of Brahma*...


* 4320 million human years


THE UNBIDDEN

So sorry, guys:
I doubt I’ve met you before.
You’ve sadly mistaken the door,
I answered
the envious thoughts –
and closed my heart very tightly.


INNER AND OUTER

If your outer space
gets smaller,
 
being invaded,
decreasing in size,

then your inner space
becomes larger.

Otherwise,
it is doomed and dies*.


* It means
that you have died
but did’t notice.


BUTTERFLIES IN THE SNOW

two butterflies
frozen in the snow
along the winter
of acute anxiety

we are still here
waiting for the miracle
of spring awakening

two wingless hearts’
despairing survival


DILEMMA

Blessed with you
And cursed by you
Dilemma...


SEE YOU SOON

Goodbye...
or farewell?
she asked me sadly
as she was leaving.
I’d rather say
‘See you soon’,
my answer was
to Mrs. Fortune.

*

The book of “Amalgam”, 2009 – 2011

____________________________


The book of “Dreamland”, 2009 – 2011
http://www.stihi.ru/2011/03/05/4979

“The Way of Grass”, 2009 – 2011
http://www.stihi.ru/2011/03/01/1093

*