Once I allowed...

Once I allowed to hurt my deepest feelings,
Once I allowed to grasp my heart in cage of stone,
I thought you`d come to add more colors to my living,
I thought you`d heal my scars and deafen load moans.

You shook my tangled thoughts as if to knead the dough,
You fried to ashes broken pieces of myself,
And after all you`ve done you turned to door aspiring to go
Pushing me from you in bleeding tears like the dust from shelf...

My hands are tied as if somebody put the shackles on my wrists,
My eyelids heavy like the snow stuck to bating lashes,
My soul strings are scattered on a floor like amber beads
`Cause what is now fake was once miraculous and truly precious.

You wrote me like book and then so mercilessly erased with rubber,
You threw my pages into greedy tongues of fireplace,
You were the skillful conqueror disguised in awkward lover,
You pierced my heart with love and melted in the twilight haze.

Once I allowed to play me like a toy ignoring wounded pride,
I gave my tears and sorest doubts to the lonely pillow,
I waked in ice-cold sweat at silver moonlight
And choked with shower of salty tears billow.

I thought I should retain my faith and self-possession,
I slowly turned the merciless wheel of my roulette
Allowing myself to burn my heart to embers of undying passion,
I yielded to temptation and gave free rein to love without regrets.

You turned me into timid snail living lonely life in seashell,
You turned my purest feelings into slush of melted snow,
You masked your real face creating name I scarcely could spell,
You brought me to the boiling point, then cooled me down slow.

I was a litmus paper to absorb the colors of your living,
I was en empty tumbler to fulfill your selfish dreams,
You read me like a book without comprehending sacred meaning,
You launched your carefree boat down the most dangerous stream...

Once I allowed to squeeze me like sweet grapes in glass of wine,
Once I allowed to throw the amorous pollen in my eyes,
Now I`m a poisonous snake without a single tear of girlish crying,
I rose from ashes with a pair of fluffy wings to fly.