One more lonely letter

Hey, precious angel living so far from me,
I`m writing you a heartfelt letter,
Warmed by fragrance in the cup of jasmine tea,
I realize that now I`m feeling so much better...

Doubts gone like twilight shadows with the sunrise,
I feel how blood vibrates in veins so fast,
I`m trying bit of luck while throwing the dice
And hoping this triumph will never stop to last.

Lines go awry and letters tangle in a knot,
Exhausted by the rambling thoughts I throw the paper into fire,
It seems I`m rushing nowhere, running on the spot,
Torturing myself with senseless hopes and incoherent desires.

Depths of despair, breathless expectations,
Indifferent faces drawn with chalk on the wall,
Tired of sleepless nights and living in constant anticipation,
Going insane from phantom shadows and haunting noises in the hall.

My table drawer is full of memories and lonely letters,
My heart is like the crystal bowl full of callous stones,
But time is healing balm to cure the soul and make it better,
It soothes wild pain and deafens load moans.

I`m writing you and holding back my salty tears,
Inhaling twilight air full of lilac fragrance in the wind,
Its gusts bring distant noises, lonely sighs and poignant fears
Leaving imperceptible trace on a suntanned skin.

 
I know my table drawer will keep this one more heartfelt letter
Or I will cut it with the knife so mercilessly again,
I know I`ll drown in tears but won`t feel that so much better,
We fell apart and even couldn`t stay good friends.