Purifying pain

No one can ever cure excruciating pain in my heart,
And even ruthless time won`t soothe my real being,
My consciousness and rationality gradually fell apart
And clear perception now has no important meaning.

I keep on dashing round the empty room
Where gloomy silence makes this bitter pain stronger,
Suppressing tears I keep on asking myself why it was u,
Why have u gone and made my nights more merciless and longer.

My loneliness is gnawing me like worm is eating ripened apple,
Like dusty wind may sand up vital streams,
My love for u was like a sacred icon in a blessed chapel
And therefore it hurts to be the non-fulfillment of my dreams.

I don`t blame relentless destiny or even cruel u,
I still have strength to take my downfalls for granted,
I gave so much and can`t reproach myself for loving u untrue,
Perhaps I’m worth the fruit from seeds that I have planted.

It`s hard for me to cope with my fears,
To live and know I`ll never see your precious face again,
I gave free rein to my unrestrained love for years
And sang along with tuneful water drops of pouring rain.

I wanna tear myself from gloomy walls with strange noises,
From strained silence torturing me day and night,
I hardly fall asleep exhausted by the echoes of some voices
And hug my wet from salty tears pillow tight.

My destiny has pushed me to awaken from the dreaming
Where I have built a sandy castle in the wind,
Now when time flies I see my life has got stupendous meaning,
I`ll make it happier by purifying soul from my bitter sins.