This train is ready to leave.
The passengers took their seats.
But things wouldn’t change, I believe,
No matter how far it proceeds.
No matter, who travels alone,
Or who’s got a friendship to share –
They all will be chilled to the bone
And fooled at this vanity fair.
Their bags had been stuffed with strain –
They took all they thought they’d need,
Including all sorrows and pain,
Tied up with their craving and greed.
No matter the tickets they bought
To reach their faraway land -
Their luggage will fix them the spot,
At which journey comes to the end.
These words will no doubt fall flat,
Their dust will remain on the shelves.
For why should they listen to that,
If they never hear themselves?
This train is ready to leave
© Copyright: Базилевич Олег, 2010
Свидетельство о публикации №110021903801
Свидетельство о публикации №110021903801
Рецензии
Very nice!
Can I make a little suggestion about changing "travel" to "journey" in "At which their travel will end".
In light of your poem "journey" will have more profound meaning than just simple "travel".
I can suggest even more like "the journey will come to end" but then you would need to go up and modify at least a row above. Sorry about that, I won't bother you any longer. :)))
Best regards,
Марина Хрусталёва 10.03.2010 18:58 • Заявить о нарушении
Can I make a little suggestion about changing "travel" to "journey" in "At which their travel will end".
In light of your poem "journey" will have more profound meaning than just simple "travel".
I can suggest even more like "the journey will come to end" but then you would need to go up and modify at least a row above. Sorry about that, I won't bother you any longer. :)))
Best regards,
Марина Хрусталёва 10.03.2010 18:58 • Заявить о нарушении
Oh, thank you so much. Please bother me anytime you wish - this is exactly what I need :-)
Your suggestions will be taken into account. Moreover, I find them extremely useful. I wish I could make such suggestions myself :-)
Базилевич Олег 10.03.2010 20:36 Заявить о нарушении
Your suggestions will be taken into account. Moreover, I find them extremely useful. I wish I could make such suggestions myself :-)
Базилевич Олег 10.03.2010 20:36 Заявить о нарушении
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