I’ve never seen this girl before,
She’s walking barefoot on the floor,
She’s speaking hoarsely with the boys
And plays with used-already toys.
I wonder why she’s sitting here
On my uncovered window–sill
And looking very far away
And talking to me in a way.
I want to know how she could cry
About the past and stupid lie,
How could she wear grandfather’s shirt
And look as if she means a lot.
I wonder why she’s so amused
To hear my cliche-like excuse,
To kiss my boyfriend’s rosy lips,
To think out names of future kids.
I’ve never seen this girl before
But I can’t help from being sore,
From wanting know in trembling horror
Why does she see me in the mirror.
2007
Some girl
© Copyright: Ольга Молотова, 2010
Свидетельство о публикации №110021207826
Свидетельство о публикации №110021207826
Рецензии
As for me, I like "boyfriend's rosy lips"! Beautiful kind...
Why don't you use "wanting to know" in the last lines?
And one thing else... You have nice accordance in all the lines except the last ones (two last lines), 'cause I think you'd better accept any exacter rhyme. With "i" (any word suitable)
Nevertheless, I can be wrong, may be it was our own thought and it was your idea at all. Good!
Максим Митрофанов 2 16.09.2010 00:50 • Заявить о нарушении
Why don't you use "wanting to know" in the last lines?
And one thing else... You have nice accordance in all the lines except the last ones (two last lines), 'cause I think you'd better accept any exacter rhyme. With "i" (any word suitable)
Nevertheless, I can be wrong, may be it was our own thought and it was your idea at all. Good!
Максим Митрофанов 2 16.09.2010 00:50 • Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 2 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.