Shooting in the Dark

A rocky moment in life of yours
Despite your will
Occurs.
And clowds are torn over the mist.
You have to kneel
At least.
The mind exhausted of misuse -
Collapse is close,
You'll lose
The inner something, and you hate
The thought
You degradate.

Shooting in the dark...
What d'you like to guess?
Laughing out loud
With emphatic stress,
You're a pure child
With a dirty mark,
Tranquil, though so wild.
Shooting in the dark.

I'm proud of being on my own,
Within the fog
Alone.
The rain will bury all the dreams,
And of no sense
That seems.
The altar's here, so I kneel
Remaining calm
And still.
I've signed a warrant of that sort,
My restless thoughts
Will never get consort.


Рецензии
How about "consort" at the end?
The stress in "comfort" falls on the first syllable and that ruins the ending.
Your mastery of English is enviable. Where did (do) you study?

Сам Вадим   28.11.2009 21:50     Заявить о нарушении
Yeah, thanks for your remark... I'll substitute it. Good idea, I dare say)
Thank you for admiring my English as well :). But the university I study at is a complete piece of shit. I owe all my skills to my private tutor and Cambridge University Press))

Власта фон Миловец   28.11.2009 22:20   Заявить о нарушении
Your tutor did a wonderful job.
Hope you paid him/her well.
TTYL
V

Сам Вадим   16.01.2010 00:53   Заявить о нарушении
Thank you)
I keep paying her as I'm constantly improving my skills.

Власта фон Миловец   16.01.2010 22:12   Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 2 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.