Phoenix

A Phoenix bird is who I am -
I have to burn, to rack with pain,
I have to struggle, have to die,
In order later to revive,
To shine some brighter, to improve.
I have to live, I have to prove
That I'm no worse, that it's my turn!
But then it hurts; again, I burn...

I seem so lucky and so strong;
I've waited for this day so long,
but then it comes and then I know
That it is not what it had showed
And then I see that once again
I have to burn, to bear this pain.

Oh, help me, God, to keep my Faith!
...I cannot hear what he saith.
The Fire's brightness makes me blind,
The pain torments and stops my mind.
My heart is tortured with the ache;
And I still smile, but it's so fake!

All those who see me full of joy
think I'm just like a happy toy;
No matter what - they hear me laugh.
Think easy thing is what's my life.
They never see the tears inside,
They never know or hear me cry.
They think I'm happy, when I'm not.
I wish they knew the fire's hot!

I seem so strong but then, sometimes,
When heavy lump in my throat comes,
When I'm so tired of being strong,
There's just one thing, for which I long:
A pure love, a quiet life,
A life, where I don't need to laugh,
when tears come and squeeze my breath,
to show life sweet, when it's so tough.

But being strong you come to know
That there's no choice but being strong.
You laugh - that means you live;
You only only take, when you can give.