Long Island under blue heaven and a beautiful sea

On the edge of the Island
Death is waiting for you…
I am very cruel
It’s exactly true…
Do you want to go down?
I wonder….
You’ll come to a sea paradise,
Sacrificing your life…
You raise a head to heaven,
(I blessed the 24th of June, 1967!!!)
Looking with praising eyes …
Do you want to live here?
Let your soul fly…
Goodbye then, my dear….


Рецензии
If you care you have a couple of grammatical mistakes. You cannot say, even in a poem, "Aren’t I ‘m so cruel". You cannot say "You raise a head to heaven". It must be "You raise your head to heaven". Normally you don't say "blue heaven", it's almost "голубой рай" etc.

Ариадна Галицкая   20.09.2009 09:21     Заявить о нарушении