The world is staring straight at raven’s eye,
so desperate to shelter from Aloofness,
it tries to spread its coldness. On the sly
then only its fatigue steps in and roofless
minds stay – in their bonnets they have a bee
to hive the humming sound and hearty honing.
The raven’s moaning is as used to be
the shrilling of the livid wind in cacophonies.
While stumbled over leaves the sun grows rime,
so its ubiquity is lost to girdle
the surge of tears, suffocate the time.
The raven’s eye reflects the world as it twiddles.
March 28, 2009
Copyright ©2009 Iouri Lazirko
An eye of a raven
© Copyright: Юрий Лазирко, 2009
Свидетельство о публикации №109042806822
Свидетельство о публикации №109042806822
Рецензии
What a bumble of emotion! I stumbled over some, like awed bonanzas. In the cacophony of phrases some structural strides may not be conspicuous to a suffocated mind, although I think I cinched a few :)
Беляева Дина 30.04.2009 00:12 • Заявить о нарушении
Беляева Дина 30.04.2009 00:12 • Заявить о нарушении
Hi Dina,
I’m so happy and thankful that you had a chance to look at.
It was some kind of energy boost straight through my brain, a bolt from the blue. I wasn’t able to catch all of it, but at least of the idea – how it looked. Made the change at the stumbling point – let the heaven cry :)
I’d be glad to here more suggestions. Thank you so much!
(have a bee in one's bonnet to be obsessed with an idea)
With caught a bird on a dewed leaf,
A lot of gracias,
Iouri :)
Юрий Лазирко 30.04.2009 07:17 Заявить о нарушении
I’m so happy and thankful that you had a chance to look at.
It was some kind of energy boost straight through my brain, a bolt from the blue. I wasn’t able to catch all of it, but at least of the idea – how it looked. Made the change at the stumbling point – let the heaven cry :)
I’d be glad to here more suggestions. Thank you so much!
(have a bee in one's bonnet to be obsessed with an idea)
With caught a bird on a dewed leaf,
A lot of gracias,
Iouri :)
Юрий Лазирко 30.04.2009 07:17 Заявить о нарушении
Well, this one is so convoluted... I suggest breaking it apart and going sentence by sentence before you put it back together again. I'm sure you'll be able to catch it all yourself.
Беляева Дина 30.04.2009 16:42 Заявить о нарушении
Беляева Дина 30.04.2009 16:42 Заявить о нарушении
Sure, Dina,
I will let it to settle a bit and then go over it again.
Thank you,
Iouri
Юрий Лазирко 01.05.2009 07:20 Заявить о нарушении
I will let it to settle a bit and then go over it again.
Thank you,
Iouri
Юрий Лазирко 01.05.2009 07:20 Заявить о нарушении
The verse is simplified...
It should be much easy to read...
Юрий Лазирко 16.06.2009 22:13 Заявить о нарушении
It should be much easy to read...
Юрий Лазирко 16.06.2009 22:13 Заявить о нарушении
I don't know... it does not gell for me today.
I should get more sleep, perhaps.
Беляева Дина 17.06.2009 04:38 Заявить о нарушении
I should get more sleep, perhaps.
Беляева Дина 17.06.2009 04:38 Заявить о нарушении
Here 's something for your inspiration
http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/stevens-13ways.html
Беляева Дина 17.06.2009 04:44 Заявить о нарушении
http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/stevens-13ways.html
Беляева Дина 17.06.2009 04:44 Заявить о нарушении