Commit suicide - english version

Blood is running down on my arm,
Rusty razorblade is stinging badly
Soreness lingers, bringing mental harm
Striking through my brain, and very heavy,
Sorrow drinks my consciousness away
Through the eye-pit, using cocktail sipper,
Death is tearing off from skull his face,
Like a mask from actor after tripping.
Pain had gone. But still there is a thought
What I was to do, but haven’t done yet,
Soul is ready, waiting in my throat
For the signal from my body “Leave it”.
Night’s so tender, though it’s very rough,
Moon is looking down without feelings,
Like a trickle of heavy heady wine
Stream of blood is still and slowly ceasing…
Fighting with myself, I stop it’s running –
Changed my mind. Again I want to live,
Hard to breathe, as if I ran from dying,
But each step is difficult to leave…
Take decision. Let it f**k itself
Everything not done in life behind me,
And reflection turns my dreams to hell,
Looking very pale – because I’m dying.
No, I don’t want anymore to hide:
Virtue? Vice? To stay? To leave? What’s better?
I start thinking – whom I want to find?
Devil? Angel? What does really matter?
What I did? And why I lived before?
Whom I loved and whom I hated, heaven?
What I really wanted and looked for,
Felt not good and sometimes prayed for daemon?
I see hand, all covered with blood,
And my mind is looking for the answer
Whispers from the left to me: «Your God…»
Whispers from the right to me: «Your razor…»
Drop of blood fell down on the floor
From my finger, from my lifeless feather…
Looking back to what I’m living for,
I continue mangling hand with razor.