Searching for shadow over the rainbow,
Trying to look for what doesn’t exist.
Cursing the smile of faceless horizons,
Arrogant solos of noisy streets…
Looking for bridges once we have burnt,
Shadows are fading – you’ll never return…
Edge of the ocean shallows in silence,
Waiting for winter to carry away
Dreams of tomorrow. One thing that I know –
I’ll never make you do it my way.
Never return
© Copyright: Охев Бахурим, 2009
Свидетельство о публикации №109011200700
Свидетельство о публикации №109011200700
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Very nice. I really like the images you created.
There are a few articles missing:
- searching for a shadow
- looking for the bridges (here "the" makes the line too long, but you can get rid of "once" without any detriment)
- waiting for the winter
Also with "look for" the second line does not flow smoothly. How about "find"?
I could not figure out "Edge of the ocean shallows in silence". There seem to be no verb, unless you are using "edge" as the verb, but then it shouldn't be followed by "of"...
Good luck,
Dina
Беляева Дина 12.01.2009 04:16 • Заявить о нарушении
There are a few articles missing:
- searching for a shadow
- looking for the bridges (here "the" makes the line too long, but you can get rid of "once" without any detriment)
- waiting for the winter
Also with "look for" the second line does not flow smoothly. How about "find"?
I could not figure out "Edge of the ocean shallows in silence". There seem to be no verb, unless you are using "edge" as the verb, but then it shouldn't be followed by "of"...
Good luck,
Dina
Беляева Дина 12.01.2009 04:16 • Заявить о нарушении
Thanks Dina! Your opinion is very important to me. Cheers!
Охев Бахурим 12.01.2009 04:42 Заявить о нарушении
Охев Бахурим 12.01.2009 04:42 Заявить о нарушении