Snowflakes are falling down
On winter Moscow streets
And covering city ground
And shining on my feet.
I'm going through the city
And looking at white snow.
I'm crying... What a pity:
I'm walking here alone!
But snow keeps on falling
On hair, lips and feet...
My lonlyness snow's calling
While flying down on streets...
3 января 2009
Snow
© Copyright: Графиня Де Кольмар, 2009
Свидетельство о публикации №109011100527
Свидетельство о публикации №109011100527
Рецензии
Lively, emotional imagery.
A few edits:
"snoflakes are falling"
"looking at white snow"
I did not quite get what you were trying to say in "my loneliness snow's calling". My loneliness is calling for snow (?) My loneliness is like the falling snow (?). It needs work..
Overall nice.
Best,
Dina
Беляева Дина 11.01.2009 05:30 • Заявить о нарушении
A few edits:
"snoflakes are falling"
"looking at white snow"
I did not quite get what you were trying to say in "my loneliness snow's calling". My loneliness is calling for snow (?) My loneliness is like the falling snow (?). It needs work..
Overall nice.
Best,
Dina
Беляева Дина 11.01.2009 05:30 • Заявить о нарушении