Jack of hearts

I shuffle toughly pack of cards
As if it was my job,
But this annoying jack of hearts
Is always on the top.

He winks me time and time again,
Laughing at my expense -
It seems that I just go insane
Loosing my brittle sense.

I try to deal the wayward cards
To nonexistent players,
But in my hand the jack of hearts
Slips out his glossy layer.

I spend in failures all my day,
Get tired of his taunts.
Well, seems he also likes to play...
He'll get it if he wants!

I take his card with fingertips
And quickly fold to cote -
No other cards he will now lip,
Only the back of coat!

So try to laugh now, reckless jack!
Hold up to view your marks!
It's all in vain and does not reck
In this Cimmerian dark.

I veiled his grinning saucy face
With my resistant cloth,
And felt how - like a little mace -
He trembled back and forth.

I held him there every day,
Beside my beating heart,
And almost heard the silent bray
Of glossy haughty card...

But I drowned out his rustle voice
With answers sounding tart:
"I'm sorry, boys! I've made my choice -
I have my jack of hearts!"

So fun to see them trying hard
To understand my pun -
And not so much to think that card
Is now my Jack the One.

They all abandoned their attempts
And yielded to this bar,
No one had tried to ask or ramp,
No one had went so far.

You like to play - so, that's the card!
I've chosen role for you!
You'll have to play, my jack of hearts,
Don't hope you won't have to!..

The days went by, all full of fun,
And then... Then I got used
To hold him as the only one,
And sitting deep in muse

I stroked with wistful fingertips
His glossy fading back.
He laid in pocket, far and deep,
He never asked or recked...

I looked at him, perused and gazed
To gratify my whim -
If master card once had a face,
It would be face of him.

So necky, insolent and proud -
Like on that cherished day,
When rustle voice was almost loud,
When I became his prey.

I naively thought that it's my game,
That I have set the rules -
And now I had to take the blame
Of being grim and cruel!

His doubled face was watching me,
Not laughing anymore,
So closely as if he could see
The thoughts that's in my core.

A sudden anger passed through blood -
How can he ever wrangle? -
There was a want to tear this card
But that would only tangle

All my emotions and my mind.
And having fished it out
I hid his glossiness behind
The king of clubs, so lout

That I had almost heard the moan
Of swanky jack of hearts,
And smiled with gloat - rage and torn!
You're buried in the cards!

The days of fun had passed away,
Key actor left the show.
It lost the sense, I went astray,
I choked with routine flow.

Another day opened its eyes,
Drowning me with dawn -
Another truth, another lies,
The life was running on.

I roamed alone, harking the birds
In lonely city's part
And answered with the wonted words:
"I have my jack of hearts".

The man was standing at my side
And told me something prose...
But with these words I felt he smiled
And softly voice then rose.

I did not look at him at all,
But listening to this voice
I felt like I pass out and fall...
"You're sure you've made your choice?"

I rose my eyes at him and saw
A grinning saucy face -
He stared at me and burnt me so
That mind was fogged with haze.

I'd like to tell - but could not start;
He went, but then looked back
And added, drowning down my heart:
"Oh, by the way, I'm Jack".

He put his hand out with a grin,
Giving a glossy card:
"Just call me if you'd want to win.
I think it won't be hard".

I stood there silent for a while
Clearing my thoughts from pests,
But this immodest glossy smile
Had wiped all the rest.

I ran to home, I tried to find
Neglected pack of cards -
I felt like being simply blind,
With folly in my blood.

Forgotten glossy pieces lied
At window in a mess,
All sparkling in a sunny light,
Without their common sass.

I searched through slippy twos and queens,
Looked over every card -
I found the lout clubby king,
But no jack of hearts...

All fifty three, all in my sight,
All shelved on the deck.
But even jokers could not right
The miss of haughty jack.

I stood in mazement, dazed and stunned,
With cold and empty heart,
Cursing the even days I funned
When making him embared.

So deep in mind I understood
It could not be the true.
I knew I'd find it, knew I would,
Within a day or few.

But then it seemed so hard to breathe
As I'd spent all the air.
I needed holding, being with...
He should have been somewhere!

The room was laughing at my fails,
When stopping to defend
The sudden thoughts began to hail:
I held it in my hand!

I stared at silken glossy card
Trying to catch the letters.
It whispered softly: "Jack O. Heart"...
I felt how shiver fettered

My fingers holding wilful part
Of fickle hearty suit.
It fitted rightly pack of cards
And waited for tribute...

I even can't remember how
I made to phone my track
And whiffed to handset: "Need you now,
I've lost my card of jack"...

......................................

I found the card after a while,
But hardly recognized it.
No gloss, no haughty necky smile,
Nothing to make me prize it.

The painted face, the lifeless eyes,
The common template contour,
The scratchy paper, cold as ice -
No sign of the enchanter.

It's gone forever, lost and missed,
But lying in a bed
I know that to return the bliss
I should just turn my head...

He breathes deeply in his sleep
While daylight's slowly gone,
I sigh and pray he would not slip
Away, my Jack the One.

The only sign of being card
Is still his doubled face:
For all the others he is tart -
For me he keeps his grace.

I know it's wrong, it can't be true,
But I can't help believing
That his today's, so glossy view
Came from some previous living...

May be it was an endless dream,
May be it was obsession;
For all I know's my way to him
Was full of gambling passion.

But while he's here, my pack of cards
Is ready for new set,
Though he still calls me queen of hearts
And does not let forget...

I watch him sleeping, watch he smiles
And understood it better
That name of Jack - at least awhile -
Is only four dear letters.