Tatiana s letter to Onegin

(Free translation)
I love you, nothing else to say
I have, but also know you may
Surround me with your disdain.
But condoling my pitty way
You won’t abandon me alone.
At first I wanted keep my senses,
You wouldn’t hear what’s right, what’s wrong,
If I had any expectancies
To see you seldom, once a week
In our lands, to give you a quick,
Fond eye, to hear your voice and then,
Then think about “Where?”, “When?”
My dear, we will meet again.
But people say that you’re reserved
In our solitude you’re bored,
And we’re not brilliantly bright
But you are welcome days and nights.

Why have you visited that nook?
It was enough to have a look
At you to feel my poor heart
In love, if we had stood apart
My feelings would have come to end
And,I'd have met my future friend,
Who, maybe, I won’t ever stand,
But I'd be able to become
A faithful wife and a kind mum.

Another man? Oh no, I’ll never,
I’ll never love another one!
It was determined in heaven,
And if you call me, I will come
To you. For me you only one,
Who I’ve been waiting all my life.
I know exactly you’re my Sun,
Which saves me from all the strikes.
I saw you even in my dreams,
You won my heart without seeing
Your queer stare took my being,
Your voice in soul was like scream
That time -No, I was not asleep!
I’ve noticed you’re to it concerning
I was astonished, was I burning,
How I was dreaming of friendship!
I’ve heard you, dear, did you see?
How calm it was to speak to me,
When I was helping poor men
Or praying, were you near then
To make my soul just to be
In peace, this moment, precious sight,
You was the only man who might
Appear in the limpid night
Before my hoping face inclining.
Were not that you who shed in loving
Timbre hopeful light?
Can you pretend to save from evil
My innocence or you are devil?
My world was deeply got upset,
But maybe it is self-deception
Of soul lulled with loving thread?
And there won’t be any action…
But I decided – I am yours
With tears asking for protection
Without you around the earth
There’s only lonely direction.
No one of people round mine
Can matter out what possess’s
My pour flagging crazy mind
 Tossing in agony of death.
I wait for you and our date
Which’ll be conclusive for my fate.

It’s over! I became so pale,
I falter with a scaring heart
But till your honor is my bail
I put my faith in your conduct.
2005-1.11.2007гг