I ve spent four years crying near him

I've spent four years crying near him:
My jubilee, my bitter celebration.
It is a punishment for the unknown guilt,
For - maybe - making somebody unhappy.

For silly jokes, for unintended harm,
For evil that could be, but wasn't prevented,
For all my sins - in future, present, past -
For sin of pride that cannot be forgiven.

My thoughts with him, in morning and at night,
I am obsessed rather than attached.
It's not his fault; the powerful force
From the above, to follow and to punish.

It's pain, it's sad, but I do not complain,
The truth will be discover'd on this way.


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