Disturbing remnants of the past
March in the bone-chilling gloom
Back from the realm of ash and dust -
Heralds and harbingers of doom.
Behold the void reflecting in
Their eyes infused with pale-green glow
And your resolve will grow thin
With faith defeated, hope laid low.
A drop of doubt, a speck of hate,
A silent fear-inspiring glare -
No turning back, it's far too late,
No star can shine through this despair.
Unhindered and unbound horde,
The onslaught nothing can withstand -
All spheres fall into discord
As terror spreads across the land.
04.07.07
Children of Night
© Copyright: Дориан Лемэль, 2007
Свидетельство о публикации №107070601104
Свидетельство о публикации №107070601104
Рецензии
Methinks thou mayeth drop "to" in ye 2nd lyne:
The mortals don't want thee last
Clittary Hilton 18.04.2009 21:30 • Заявить о нарушении
The mortals don't want thee last
Clittary Hilton 18.04.2009 21:30 • Заявить о нарушении
Thanks for the tip but I suppose it'd break the rhythm. :-) I used "to last" implying "to continue" which, I suppose, was appropriate when describing a phenomenon as opposed to a living being.
But I can see exactly how it was confusing. :-) So for now I've made a couple of subtle changes to make everything clearer. Later, when I'll have some time, I'm going to revise the whole piece as I do with most of my works. :-)
Дориан Лемэль 18.04.2009 22:36 Заявить о нарушении
But I can see exactly how it was confusing. :-) So for now I've made a couple of subtle changes to make everything clearer. Later, when I'll have some time, I'm going to revise the whole piece as I do with most of my works. :-)
Дориан Лемэль 18.04.2009 22:36 Заявить о нарушении
the modality of "want" allows skipping the "to": I want you prosper is the same as I want you to prosper... imho!
Clittary Hilton 18.04.2009 23:25 Заявить о нарушении
Clittary Hilton 18.04.2009 23:25 Заявить о нарушении