Best way for me

Алена Лайхиа
B... Beauty of Freedom is very sweet bane.
E... Emptiness hurts. Heart full of pain.
S... Someone will tell me - "Foolish mistake
T... Trying forget him!" I think, it's fake.
W... Wisdom in love isn't my feature.
A... Alien feeling - my awesome creature...
Y... "Young and so silly" - someone will say.
F... Fine, if he thinks so. I want to stay.
O... Only in heart feeling so lonely.
R... Riding the wild wind strikingly boldly.
M... My little heart, forgive me for hope.
E... Endless ring road - this is my rope...


© Copyright: Алена Лайхиа, 2007
Свидетельство о публикации №107032500713
Список читателей / Версия для печати / Разместить анонс / Заявить о нарушении
Другие произведения автора Алена Лайхиа
Рецензии
Написать рецензию
Very nice sense and structure.

But there are some mistakes. If taken out, will be perfect! No offence!

"say" requires "to" (say to me) or you can change to "tell" (tell me)
Opechatka: 4th line, "I think..."
6th: awesome
9th: autumn
Maybe to change "Only in heart" not to loose the letter?


Best Regards,

Ольга Ульянкина   25.03.2007 11:20   •   Заявить о нарушении
+ добавить замечания
Thank you, Olga :)
I've written it in the morning... lots of mistakes, I see :))
Corrected ;)

Best wishes :)

Алена Лайхиа   25.03.2007 16:04   Заявить о нарушении
+ добавить замечания
Написать рецензию     Написать личное сообщение     Другие произведения автора Алена Лайхиа