What a day! What a day!
I bet you wanna stay
What a sun! And what a sky!
And what I say that makes you smile
And what a wonderful sound!
And what a place you just have found!
Oh, and how funny you can laugh!
And how deep is your love?
People don't look like this at us,
Don't try to save, it's an impossible task!
It's madness, dances on the wall,
No sadness, all the city is our home!
I'll show you the best way
To let everything go away,
To feel the freedom in your soul
It doesn't matter where you belong
It even doesn't matter what will be after
cause we're just such a beautiful disaster:)
what a day!
© Copyright: Красная Нить, 2006
Свидетельство о публикации №106113002578
Свидетельство о публикации №106113002578
Рецензии
Very beautiful, but a few mistakes.
In "it's impossible task" you forgot the article. It should be "it's AN impossible task".
And "just so beautiful disaster"... you can't say it like that. You can say "just SUCH A beautiful disaster".
And that's about it! Otherwise an excellent poem!
P.S.
А я по русски не умею писать.
Шуба Настя 06.01.2007 03:53 • Заявить о нарушении
In "it's impossible task" you forgot the article. It should be "it's AN impossible task".
And "just so beautiful disaster"... you can't say it like that. You can say "just SUCH A beautiful disaster".
And that's about it! Otherwise an excellent poem!
P.S.
А я по русски не умею писать.
Шуба Настя 06.01.2007 03:53 • Заявить о нарушении
Спасибо:) Исправлю...
будем учиться и совершенствоваться:)
Красная Нить 06.01.2007 22:55 Заявить о нарушении
будем учиться и совершенствоваться:)
Красная Нить 06.01.2007 22:55 Заявить о нарушении
Спасибо что исправили, многие не выносят поправки...
Now it's even a better poem!
Best wishes!
Настя.
Шуба Настя 07.01.2007 10:16 Заявить о нарушении
Now it's even a better poem!
Best wishes!
Настя.
Шуба Настя 07.01.2007 10:16 Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 4 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.