So much summer ripped from my chest...

So much summer ripped from my chest,
So much that I am scarred...
They’ve should of stayed alive yet
But they are gone with out a trace.
And then sorrow and anguish well up
I’d like to get ill without reason and be gone too.
But yet I find strengths to carry all of it in my head.
Seems to me that I’ll stay alone
No friends will come.
But to live like this is hard...
So, strange that time itself forgetting
That it passed by long ago.
So much pity in peoples eyes but I can’t help myself.
If I just had the loyalty to love you
Maybe I’ll become stronger then...
But now there is no point, you are going to loose.
Would it be right to take sharp blade in the hand
And finish life without regrets.
But you wouldn’t follow me there.
I tried it alone but got too scared...



November 14, 1996
wrt: Andrey Prudnikov


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