Apogee

I hate myself for being soft,
For sympathy, for this stupid love.
And words that had been said;
About loyalty to the end.
Everything is a bluff,
So, hell with me and my fucking sensitivity.
I don’t want anyone near by.
I don’t want anyone in my life.
I’ll crucified myself on the front door,
Maybe then you’ll leave me alone.
Ghosts and phantoms of hundreds faces;
There isn’t a part of me that wasn’t untouched by misery
And strapped by the barb wire laces.
I wish to change this endless ring,
I hope to taste blood on my teeth.


December 21, 1996
wrt: Andrey Prudnikov


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