The night is lying down in my palms...
I’m looking for the stars in your blue eyes
I ,also, want to find there love,-
Instead, I'm sinking down in the fire...
I haven’t found yet where gladness lives,-
There is no peace, no comfort in my spirit,
I want to find you among my dreams
That you'd become since that my every minute...
The night is sleeping now in my palms...
I’m staring at the stars full of admire,
They whisper quietly the words of love,-
My heart is sinking down in the fire
My heart is sinking down in the fire
© Copyright: Моно-Ли, 2006
Свидетельство о публикации №106063000158
Свидетельство о публикации №106063000158
Рецензии
Realy, realy, plainly and merely!
You're a good dreamer, but, your progress barring,
You think "I'm staring at the stars" and write instead 'I'm starring...'
Your verse is splendid, I dare say but not so 'flattered I'm'
Because in the beginning, oh, you have forgot of rhyme.
These lines of yours admires and charms
My listening soul but, may be, it would better -
'The night is lying down on my palms'...
А в общем, славно это!
С уважением к поэту, пишущему на английском.
Ваш
Манжос Павел 06.06.2013 23:31 • Заявить о нарушении
You're a good dreamer, but, your progress barring,
You think "I'm staring at the stars" and write instead 'I'm starring...'
Your verse is splendid, I dare say but not so 'flattered I'm'
Because in the beginning, oh, you have forgot of rhyme.
These lines of yours admires and charms
My listening soul but, may be, it would better -
'The night is lying down on my palms'...
А в общем, славно это!
С уважением к поэту, пишущему на английском.
Ваш
Манжос Павел 06.06.2013 23:31 • Заявить о нарушении
Sorry, bra: 'This line of yours...' A slip of the pen.
Манжос Павел 06.06.2013 23:37 Заявить о нарушении
Манжос Павел 06.06.2013 23:37 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you very much, Pavel, for your review of my poem. It's so nice of you!
I'll take all your consideration to my attention and make the changes required. :)
Good luck to you as well!
Моно-Ли 07.06.2013 09:29 Заявить о нарушении
I'll take all your consideration to my attention and make the changes required. :)
Good luck to you as well!
Моно-Ли 07.06.2013 09:29 Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 2 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.