Here it goes
the frenzied glare of light;
Merciless Sun tears the top
of high clouds apart;
Everything will be repeated...
Oh, folly and fright
Of Two equali powers,
extorting the Aeon to start!
Start is the feeling, but end is
a merest haze;
Closing the circle of pain,
full once more to the brim...
Inkling of madness in someone's
familiar face -
Isn't that one who was set
irreversibly free?
Congruent spears are searing behind you,
unbidden,
There Odds and evens, with greediness,
stricke on the head;
Two equal powers, bearing Time,
are just left
Somehow unbalanced. And is that
what You call A freedom?
ОЧЕНЬ рекомендую ознакомится с оригиналом!
http://www.stihi.ru/2005/09/02-798
Все предложения по исправлению и улучшению перевода будут приняты с благодарностью :)
Translation from Black Fox, Свобода?
© Copyright: Резникова Оксана, 2005
Свидетельство о публикации №105100100496
Свидетельство о публикации №105100100496
Рецензии
Oxana,
You blew my imagination apart with your translation, honestly! Absolutely outstanding effort!
I think that your English version goes on parities with the original. And, as you may know that the original is one of my favourite poems from Black Fox collection, this is, probably, the best praise that I can offer you. Brilliant, without shadow of a doubt!
If I were able to write something like it I would certainly be proud. Please accept my sincere congratulations!! Well done!
Remain very impressed by you,
George
Чорный Георг 06.10.2005 21:27 • Заявить о нарушении
You blew my imagination apart with your translation, honestly! Absolutely outstanding effort!
I think that your English version goes on parities with the original. And, as you may know that the original is one of my favourite poems from Black Fox collection, this is, probably, the best praise that I can offer you. Brilliant, without shadow of a doubt!
If I were able to write something like it I would certainly be proud. Please accept my sincere congratulations!! Well done!
Remain very impressed by you,
George
Чорный Георг 06.10.2005 21:27 • Заявить о нарушении
Thanks :) You flatter me, really. But such reactions from english-speaking community DO give courage! Thanks once more.
Резникова Оксана 10.10.2005 13:44 Заявить о нарушении
Резникова Оксана 10.10.2005 13:44 Заявить о нарушении
Dear Oxy,
I suppose all you need is a bit of encouragement, that's all! All the rest is there already - the skill, a good feel for words, and the resolution to do it. And of course I'll be only too happy to give you this encouragement!
Please don't hesitate to contact me should you like any help or advice.
Best regards, G.
Чорный Георг 10.10.2005 23:20 Заявить о нарушении
I suppose all you need is a bit of encouragement, that's all! All the rest is there already - the skill, a good feel for words, and the resolution to do it. And of course I'll be only too happy to give you this encouragement!
Please don't hesitate to contact me should you like any help or advice.
Best regards, G.
Чорный Георг 10.10.2005 23:20 Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 2 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.