A call...

I wonder if there are any words that could describe what I felt and feel. Think it is so unique and inexplicable that nothing in that world can describe it. The day started awfully. I overslept. Then got into traffic and was late again. Then wondered for about 30 minutes trying to find the shop I was told about. Feeling like a ghost with constant temperature and coughing… but then something has changed. With the first tune of devil’s voice I felt good. Felt alive.
The thoughts of someone playing here were long gone but only today I understood, understood deep inside what he felt for me. He feels for real. No one could play that way. No one could say “I love you bunny” with such tenderness in his voice. He cares. He needs. He wants.
All those scary thoughts that follow my every step in that story are still with me. But somehow they seem to fade. Slowly enough but they are fading. If he feels that strong he would not care about anything in me that others might not like. At least we both would never be able to forget all that, at least not that soon. And we would be a part of each others story till the end of our lives.
Once we have promised to be friends. Maybe life long friends? I don’t want to plan anything as everything changes, everything finds its own way and we just follow it. Although our fate is what we make.
The thoughts, the dreams.. so simple, so obvious and yet seem so unreal. What if..? No it won’t be… And if..? I would like to…
Today I have found one more thing about a cruel dark angel. He is attentive (well, I knew it earlier). But he is attentive in all senses. He cares. He is ready to do everything that is good for me even if he does not like it. He is ready to give up to his preferences if someone he cares about needs it. It is a rare thing now. At least, among the guys around it is something missing.
His voice. It is something that is remembered forever. His intonation, his laugh, his whisper… all so sweet and tender. When he said he loved me I was ready to die. Not only because I heard it and believed but also because it was filled with emotions, it was true, it was real. Not just phrases typed but words pronounced.
Once he said it had never been easy for him to say “I love you” and I felt it today. It was not an obligation, there was no need to say it but I felt he wanted to and he did. So gently, the passion could have been felt there. A true passion, true feelings