Kiddush for love gone
butterflies’ dancing streams turn and twist.
In the dim ancient hall ten black robes pray Kiddush
dark and light counterparts coexist.
Love is born as new light, as a bolt from the blue,
the emotions are raised, no more grief.
I surrender myself to the stream, float anew,
oh Gehenna, I’ve been so naive.
Dark replaced tender glow of affection and bliss
passion died, I am weeping good bye,
to the raptures of heart. I am mourning decease
of the flower of love, don’t deny.
In my bedroom alone I will gash, I will cut
choking dress, morbid flesh – I can’t cry,
deadly wounds, empty heart, praying eyes - no more blood
no more life, silence now, no reply.
* Gehenna (the valley of G Hinnom), near Jerusalem. In the New Testament the name is transferred, by an easy metaphor, to Hell.
Свидетельство о публикации №104112300264
Very well done. Have you read my "There is nothing"? I don't have rhyme in it, so it won't match yours, but the topic is similar.
My complements to a wonderful poem :-)).
Марина Павлоцкая 02.12.2004 17:04 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you for your kind appraisal.
I do not think that having rhymes is a mandatory requirement. In modern English poetry it is more often to use a white poetry structure.
Your piece "There is northing" - just a short few lines of comments from me.
I like the images and emotions.
I would suggest to add missing verbs. I am on holidays at the moment, when I come back home I will send a detail comment on your poem "There is nothing".
Thank you again
А Н Е Л 04.12.2004 06:26 Заявить о нарушении