Now lost and broken, no desires left,
a gentle flower never to be found.
She, by the God so mercilessly bereft
of prized rewards of love with no account.
Her eyes – black lakes that Jacob used to dry
with mellow kisses, to remove her tears,
her graceful lips - a brittle butterfly
that is fragile and lucid in its fears.
He was content to wait as his young bride
was near and the time would quickly skip,
he has allowed his Blessing do its ride
on curly backs of grazing spotted sheep.
Then she and he awaited seven years
to get the precious gift – Rachel’s first son
whom Jacob called “True Son”, if others were
of no importance – horror to be done.
The fortune-teller warned that not her first -
her second child will be her own undoing.
Her bitten lips blood-stained, his love was cursed -
the brunt of jealous God who knew no ruing.
As Jacob prayed to let her anguish pass,
his aching soul was weeping for his treasure,
but then he begged his God for mercy, death,
as her torment exceeded human measure!
Now Rachel’s dead and Jacob digs her grave
in no one’s land, the grieving tribe was passing.
A stone, next to a black and empty cave,
without Rachel’s name - would leave you guessing.
The prized reward, the flower of his heart,
with sunny smiles and glowing eyes of night;
her tomb in sandy Palestine will guard
young lovers and will bring them hope and light.
Rachel
© Copyright: А Н Е Л, 2004
Свидетельство о публикации №104111601813
Свидетельство о публикации №104111601813
Рецензии
This poem appeals to me for its evocation of passions, antiquity, archetypes. The images are rich and resonant, saturated with emotional colour, while at the same time suggesting a stylisation and austerity befitting their theme...
Jena Woodhouse 06.01.2005 02:42 • Заявить о нарушении
Jena Woodhouse 06.01.2005 02:42 • Заявить о нарушении
Dear Jena,
Thank you very much for your kind comments. It will be interesting to know your view on the discussion I had with Cli on the flower vs lamb.
Kind Regards
Lena
А Н Е Л 12.01.2005 01:09 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you very much for your kind comments. It will be interesting to know your view on the discussion I had with Cli on the flower vs lamb.
Kind Regards
Lena
А Н Е Л 12.01.2005 01:09 Заявить о нарушении
Dear Lena,
I don't think I'm qualified to buy into this discussion, but in the context of your poem, "flower" strikes me as apposite - it sits well with the other imagery: the butterfly, the tomb, the sand - contrasting pleasingly, as well, with the implied harshness of the terrain and the rigours of the nomadic life, and, in its fragility and the brevity of its blossoming, suggesting the ephemeral nature of beauty and of life itself, which highlights the poignancy of Rachel's story.
In functional botanical terms, are not flowers in effect the sexual organs of plants, designed to attract bees and other insects and birds with their colour, form and fragrance? Don't the bees go mad for them, sometimes flying unbelievable distances to harvest the nectar and pollen, while at the same time inadvertently performing the vital function of fertilisation, so that fruit can ensue? I should brush up on the details before proceeding in this vein, but this is my understanding. Flowers are not merely decorative, they are potent symbols in the literal as well as the metaphorical sense of the word.
Like you, I'd rather be compared to a flower than a lamb, and not just because of the abysmal fate of lambs in Australia and elsewhere, but because a lamb, if it survives, turns into a sheep! Both have their own connotations, which, at least in English, are not, to my mind, compatible with the elements and nuances of your portrait of Rachel.
Lambs, as in the poetry of William Blake and much Christian symbolism, are emblematic of innocence, childhood, sacrifice, meekness, and so on. They are frequently preyed upon. Sheep represent the inability to think for oneself, as well as being symbolised in Christianity as the needy objects of pastoral care, unable to survive without the protection of a shepherd.
I apologise for so rudimentary a summary, but, since you invited me to give an opinion, these are the connotations that spring most readily to mind for me.
In the case of lambs, having lived in Greece for ten years, I also associate them with the Paschal slaughter of the innocents that is part of that country's tradition (paralleled, incidentally, by the rituals attending Bayram in Islamic society), and I certainly would not wish to be one, even metaphorically.
While poetry is a subjective universe, I think one of its intrinsic laws is to try to maintain a consistency and integrity of vision within a poem.
As my initial comment makes clear, I think this is what you have done.
With respect, Jena
Jena Woodhouse 14.01.2005 06:24 Заявить о нарушении
I don't think I'm qualified to buy into this discussion, but in the context of your poem, "flower" strikes me as apposite - it sits well with the other imagery: the butterfly, the tomb, the sand - contrasting pleasingly, as well, with the implied harshness of the terrain and the rigours of the nomadic life, and, in its fragility and the brevity of its blossoming, suggesting the ephemeral nature of beauty and of life itself, which highlights the poignancy of Rachel's story.
In functional botanical terms, are not flowers in effect the sexual organs of plants, designed to attract bees and other insects and birds with their colour, form and fragrance? Don't the bees go mad for them, sometimes flying unbelievable distances to harvest the nectar and pollen, while at the same time inadvertently performing the vital function of fertilisation, so that fruit can ensue? I should brush up on the details before proceeding in this vein, but this is my understanding. Flowers are not merely decorative, they are potent symbols in the literal as well as the metaphorical sense of the word.
Like you, I'd rather be compared to a flower than a lamb, and not just because of the abysmal fate of lambs in Australia and elsewhere, but because a lamb, if it survives, turns into a sheep! Both have their own connotations, which, at least in English, are not, to my mind, compatible with the elements and nuances of your portrait of Rachel.
Lambs, as in the poetry of William Blake and much Christian symbolism, are emblematic of innocence, childhood, sacrifice, meekness, and so on. They are frequently preyed upon. Sheep represent the inability to think for oneself, as well as being symbolised in Christianity as the needy objects of pastoral care, unable to survive without the protection of a shepherd.
I apologise for so rudimentary a summary, but, since you invited me to give an opinion, these are the connotations that spring most readily to mind for me.
In the case of lambs, having lived in Greece for ten years, I also associate them with the Paschal slaughter of the innocents that is part of that country's tradition (paralleled, incidentally, by the rituals attending Bayram in Islamic society), and I certainly would not wish to be one, even metaphorically.
While poetry is a subjective universe, I think one of its intrinsic laws is to try to maintain a consistency and integrity of vision within a poem.
As my initial comment makes clear, I think this is what you have done.
With respect, Jena
Jena Woodhouse 14.01.2005 06:24 Заявить о нарушении
Thank you again for such an indepth analysis.
:0))))
Love
Lena
А Н Е Л 18.01.2005 05:13 Заявить о нарушении
:0))))
Love
Lena
А Н Е Л 18.01.2005 05:13 Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 2 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.