I have a friend...

(to S.K. for sharing a secret with me)

I have a friend – he tells me things
That no-one else can hear.
And once he told me of a girl
To whom he was so dear.
The girl was fair, I have to say.
Attractive. Not the best.
But very pretty nonetheless
(And she had massive breasts!).
She took a liking to my friend.
And he, of course, did know.
But, being pretty shy with girls,
He couldn’t tell her “No”.
My buddy’s life became a mess,
He was a woeful sight.
The girl kept phoning every day
And chatting all the night.
She called, they talked, sometimes for long,
My friend found out a lot.
Some things she said my buddy liked
And others – he did not.
Like, once she told him of her dream;
A dream he since would dread.
She told him that she dreamed of him,
Or rather, them, in bed.
My friend, completely off his guard,
Did not know what to say.
The girl (a smart one!) asked about
His plans for the next day.
So, basically forced, my friend
Complied and took her out.
And although he enjoyed that day,
He still was full of doubt.
And he complained, “She’ll kill me soon
If I don’t find a cure.
Next time she wants to ask me out
I’ll tell her no for sure!”
But, living by himself, my friend
Could not resist for long.
‘Cause he, like any real man
Was thinking with his dong.
So, how did such a story end?
Well, I have got no clue.
And you know why? Because all this
Is absolutely true!