The cold wind has burnt out your star
This feeling you’ve locked deep inside
It wasn’t me who made to you this scar
And no chance for a turn of the tide
I still can remember who you are
If only I could feel your pain
I try to reach your soul but you’re far
I’m afraid I have never seen again
And it comes from deep within
This is my fever you cannot deny
No medicine can fondle my skin
Between us something formed a cranny
You
© Copyright: Suezy, 2004
Свидетельство о публикации №104102900259
Свидетельство о публикации №104102900259
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Nice =)
I'm starting to see more and more poems in english.
Smth to fix though:
- 1st line. i think the wind blows, not burns. unless you mean something unique.
- do the words "deny" and "cranny" rhyme?
Other than that, it's perfect. Very good theme =)
Would you care to read my poem?
http://www.stihi.ru/2004/10/28-797
Шуйский 29.10.2004 08:20 • Заявить о нарушении
I'm starting to see more and more poems in english.
Smth to fix though:
- 1st line. i think the wind blows, not burns. unless you mean something unique.
- do the words "deny" and "cranny" rhyme?
Other than that, it's perfect. Very good theme =)
Would you care to read my poem?
http://www.stihi.ru/2004/10/28-797
Шуйский 29.10.2004 08:20 • Заявить о нарушении
Oh, i'm flattered, but you shouldn't thank me... Sasha (the girl in the poem and my friend in life) gave me the idea. That actually happened to her =((
Шуйский 31.10.2004 10:09 Заявить о нарушении
Шуйский 31.10.2004 10:09 Заявить о нарушении