In A Nearly Empty Cafй

In a nearly empty cafй
A girl unbosoms to her girlfriend
Too freely and too loudly
– She must be too drunk.
I wouldn’t say suchlike
Not even to the mirror in my bedroom,
I keep inside my infernal gloom,
I am a happy, jolly man.

She unbosoms,
I shouldn’t really listen,
But she is too drunk, too loud and too interesting.
On our board the position is so simple
It is boring.
I listen
As she unbosoms
That she lacks a bosom.
Does she?
She’s an ‘ironing-board’
And her nose ‘sticks out
Like a sword’.
I don’t think her nose is long
...My partner whistles to the song,
It takes him so long
To make a move...
‘I look like a swordfish’
I think she is lovely
In a babyish
Way...
Hey!
That is some puzzling move!
Damn, now it looks drawish...
The girl IS lovely,
But she is so childish
She says she ‘needs a surgery’.
She needs a surgery
Like a goldfish needs a snorkel.
That is it.
... Well. It looks like now I’m in a pickle.

Why do they all demand/supply body surgeries?
Why don't they demand/supply mind surgeries?
Any surgeons out there
Who can make us less unkind?
Nobody ever asks for
Liposuction of one’s mind.