Loser

                Will you catch me if I fall?

And I fell, and you just were not here.
And I screamed, and you just could not hear.
And I laughed, and I smashed myself hard,
hurt my heart and then tore it apart.

And I fell on my knees into dirt,
closed my mouth - this was how much I hurt.
And I wanted to be like a Star.
What I heard was just, "Lucky you are".

And I screamed into silence and night
'cause I had this inalienable right.
And I screamed with my all weakened might.
Yes, I screamed. I could no longer fight.

And I laughed 'cause I choked on a scream,
and I saw my obscure childish dream.
I was laughing and crying at once.
I was catching my heart's lousy bounce.

And I hurt my heart - slowly and hard,
and I wondered about Holy God.
And I screamed 'cause I needed His help.
I was broke. I had lost what I held.

And I fell. And I choked on the dust.
And my scream was dissolving so fast.
Here you go, darling, lucky you are
sitting here sipping bear in a bar.

When you fall, when you laugh, when you scream
just remember my old broken dream.
Heart's not worth tearing it into parts
'cause two parts will not beat like two hearts.