Jeanny s scream

You were too light to break my damned heart,
I was too proud to tell it happened so…
Now in my veins don’t run life-giving blood,
And all I have to do is watch you go.

And if I ever have to rise again
I’ll never let myself to live for you…
I’ll never let my soul remain the same,
I’ll fill my veins with colding mountain dew…

You walk alone both up and down the street,
You don’t see faces, only ghosts of life.
You don’t see feelings that you do not need.
It’s world’s disease, or may be you’re just blind…

And when I touched your soul with weakened hand,
You gave it up and had to fly away…
But can I say?... the land is not the land
And life is not the life in such a way…

You dream about our sleepless nights,
About my body, bent and broken all in all,
But all you meet are only lasting fights,
Because a want to be a human, not a doll!

You’ll never understand my lonely world,
And I will never open up to get you through…
You’re nearby; I hear sharp and single words.
I’m honest, but I’ll never tell the truth.

I need to show you how my heart is burning now,
I want to stop the war between my heart and mind,
But you don’t know the feeling called “love”,
And all you want is just to hold me tight…

My feelings burn my soul with killing flame…
I’m lost. And I just try to hide them hard.
It’s not your fault and also not your blame
That you’d like more my body than my heart…

Your dreamy eyes look like enormous lakes
And in these lakes I easily can sink.
But on the bottom there’s no sand, but only snakes
With shining teeth which want to sting my skin…

I’ll never show you that I have no strength to dream,
And that I suffocate in cold and bloody space,
That my existence can be called a silent scream…
You’ll only know that all my essence’s full of faith…

Ten months without you had made me faint,
And I have lost my feeble slightest hope,
I cried a lot, but cried with me the rain…
And hopes… they were away with every water drop…