I once had a dream
With a beautiful light:
I caught a sunbeam
And I laughed with delight.
A thin silver mist
Wrapped me up like a toy,
My strong little fist
Punched the sand with a joy.
I jumped and I ran
Right toward ocean wave,
In sunshine my tan
Made me look very brave.
I felt like a sail
Fluttering in the breeze,
And running with wail
I did not want to seize…
This dream I remember
As one of a kind,
And just like an ember
It glows on my mind.
(ноябрь 1999)
A Dream
© Copyright: Ленусик, 2002
Свидетельство о публикации №102120200237
Свидетельство о публикации №102120200237
Рецензии
Ah, a nice example of a two beat accentual poetry!
I really enjoyed the rhythm, very simple, very natural to the English language.
The only thing I'm not sure is the last line. I'd say "It glows IN my mind."
I wish you more dreams like that, O, beautiful Hellen!
:))
-- Alex
Александр Кравченко 12.12.2002 04:10 • Заявить о нарушении
I really enjoyed the rhythm, very simple, very natural to the English language.
The only thing I'm not sure is the last line. I'd say "It glows IN my mind."
I wish you more dreams like that, O, beautiful Hellen!
:))
-- Alex
Александр Кравченко 12.12.2002 04:10 • Заявить о нарушении
Спасибо большое!
Однако насчёт "It glows IN my mind" готова поспорить, because when you're talking about a mind, it's "on", not "in" (for example, when you say "What's ON your mind?")
Thanks a lot, and I'm glad you like it :)))
Ленусик 12.12.2002 04:47 Заявить о нарушении
Однако насчёт "It glows IN my mind" готова поспорить, because when you're talking about a mind, it's "on", not "in" (for example, when you say "What's ON your mind?")
Thanks a lot, and I'm glad you like it :)))
Ленусик 12.12.2002 04:47 Заявить о нарушении
Yes, "What's on your mind?" is a common expression meaning "what are you thinking about?"
However, what made me uneasy about this in "It glows on my mind." is the verb "glows".
So it's not you, having something on your mind, it's this object, the dream-amber, that glows in it.
But I not 100% sure, so I don't insist.
Anyway, it's fun talking to you. I'd love you to visit
my pages and let me know what you think.
I put all my English verse in here:
http://www.stihi.ru/author.html?anabiosis
До встречи,
-- Алекс.
Александр Кравченко 12.12.2002 20:02 Заявить о нарушении
However, what made me uneasy about this in "It glows on my mind." is the verb "glows".
So it's not you, having something on your mind, it's this object, the dream-amber, that glows in it.
But I not 100% sure, so I don't insist.
Anyway, it's fun talking to you. I'd love you to visit
my pages and let me know what you think.
I put all my English verse in here:
http://www.stihi.ru/author.html?anabiosis
До встречи,
-- Алекс.
Александр Кравченко 12.12.2002 20:02 Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 2 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.