circumfluent nothingness

and now i vanish, and twisted i scream
i hail thee, the power of flight
i sleep or i do not, i live or i seem
i perk at my treacherous pride

i phantom i gride through the sorrowful eyes
of my mistress of joy and decay
they flee and they conquer, they fall and they rise
i ravage i glow - i'm away (astray)

seductress of minions of blackest of deaths
a mincing machine of the chosen
i manage to suffer a thousand of breaths
of air put to fire and frozen

i glide on the edge of what life used to be
a lineal ghost to be feared
you hear? so you lie, you can't hear nor see
one day eve i was revered

i'm shunned ever after these days and i flee
from consciousness and from the revolt
repugnant to nothing, reflecting in Hme
i sadden the grief as foretold

corrupt and with villainy pregnant i stride
through valleys of sorrow and mourn
what thoughts i embrace in my depths when i hide
the sleek reddened body of scorn?

my days long have vanished, my nights don't exist
surrender! or suffer what ails
my permanent wisdom, my burned-down fist
and what never-ending prevails

but see, it is over, the surplice is gone
the only who knew of this game
his painful and aimless career not yet done
his name not yet fabled by fame

i crawl agonizing the paths of caress
along. nothing left to conspire
i stare and whisper, and cutting my tress
with which i would gladly aspire
to heights beyond thunder, to heavens of love,
a place where no tears would fall
i damn the creation of world of above
and pierce those who try and might call

i opened these eyes which aren't eyes any more
i waved, and my nothingness came
reflection of me as i was long before
so cheerful and friendly and tame

majestic'lly sickful, trephined by the sun
it changed into powers of flight
i staked it and burned it as i had begun
to fall through the spheres of delight


so close and so peccant i saw now my face
surrounded by dust and remote
so far from the truth is my loathsome embrace
i've vanished right into this moat

the water is wroth and its depth full of pain
so sweet and so beckoning; no!
irresolute, dead, overmastered, insane -
whatever… i'll sleep if i go


the sleep was eternal, the nightmares so sweet
so tender, so loving, so tame;
it ended two minutes before i could bleed.
i've weakened; there's no my name.

(6 июня 2002, 21:08)