Irreparable

Why can’t someone stop this hell
I can’t take it anymore
I need to find my way out
Of this neverending horror

Every day, every night
Fierce pain burns my life
I can’t see the end of this
Suicidal existence

I don’t know what side to chose
Good or Evil: what will lose?
I used to want to love you, people
But now I want to kill you all!

My apocalyptic self
Needs the way to Higher World
But my rotten filthy flesh
Pulls my soul back to Inferno

I don’t believe in anything
Buried deep is the Truth’s coffin
My brain is ripped by Love and Hate
There’s no way back from where I’m going

Soon I will be on payroll
Of the death’s killing machine
But until then my only way
Is to wish for it every day

Now more dreams, no more hopes
Bitter pain is my best dope
Let my insane nightmares
Weave the loop from the rope

Surroundings will burn to dust
And I wish it happened fast,
But I cannot cross the line
Until the heart of everyone around
Is just as stoned as mine.

1993