His fingers feel her ribs beneath my skin
at night, then trace a pathway through her hair
that leads him, twisted, "round the pillow lace
behind my burrowed head. She leads the way;
I nurture the disguise--for brilliant kin-
ship with her ecstasy completes our share.
I feel light gray fuse to my shadowed face.
Now ivory. Scrimshaw. The artists, they
are lips; they carve in channels made of thin
and hungry and intricate details wear their
embrace and rise and fall and race
for more. I cry her infinite ends, lay
the streaming silver keys back on her rim
to shimmer--she, the shiver inside him.
Other Woman
© Copyright: Павло Павло, 2001
Свидетельство о публикации №101101800109
Свидетельство о публикации №101101800109
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Well... First I'd like to ask you to correct your spelling. Beleive me, I don't speak a perfect English and I don't mean to lecture you, but:
I know that probably you write "from your heart" and all those rhymes and stuff don't matter at all, but no rhyme at all it's no good... And I have te same problem too. If you mean something russian and tell it in English it often doesn't make and sense and besides sounds no good. I hate my English poetry for all those stupid errors, Russian meanings, and style but still...
Maybe I'm competely dumb but your whole verse doesn't make any sense to me. I just can't comprehent it. Please could you help me?
Evvie Rough 09.02.2002 22:38 • Заявить о нарушении
I know that probably you write "from your heart" and all those rhymes and stuff don't matter at all, but no rhyme at all it's no good... And I have te same problem too. If you mean something russian and tell it in English it often doesn't make and sense and besides sounds no good. I hate my English poetry for all those stupid errors, Russian meanings, and style but still...
Maybe I'm competely dumb but your whole verse doesn't make any sense to me. I just can't comprehent it. Please could you help me?
Evvie Rough 09.02.2002 22:38 • Заявить о нарушении