On the wave of my dream
I would laze, I would skim
salty water and sun on my skin.
Sun is kissing my skin, as I spin.
Surf is weeping extreme,
if I glide with the stream
then I may just survive
as I panic for life.
I have opened my heart
to the storm, being a part
of the rage of my fate
that demands – abdicate.
I accept cruel doom,
I resign to gloom.
Over white pearly foam
clouds are building a dome.
Mermaids chant salty songs,
and this moment belongs
to the rest of my life,
through the battles of strife.
I smell calm, I sense peace:
roaring storm is my bliss.
Bliss
© Copyright: А Н Е Л, 2004
Свидетельство о публикации №104050700470
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Wow!! Even the constant rhyming repetition doesn't take away from integrity. You have a great gift. How you say you write poems - that they just come - proves it.
The only place where I stumbled is "I resign to gloom". Doesn't seem justified to shorten it. Maybe "I resign to the gloom"?
yours,
Хотылёва 08.05.2004 13:15 • Заявить о нарушении
The only place where I stumbled is "I resign to gloom". Doesn't seem justified to shorten it. Maybe "I resign to the gloom"?
yours,
Хотылёва 08.05.2004 13:15 • Заявить о нарушении
Dear Natasha,
I belive "GLOOM" is not noun that can be counted, so the "a" or "the" I belive will not be grammatically correct.
A suggest the resign is a longer sound at the end gives required rythm
But I will double check.
Love
ANEL
А Н Е Л 10.05.2004 09:23 Заявить о нарушении
I belive "GLOOM" is not noun that can be counted, so the "a" or "the" I belive will not be grammatically correct.
A suggest the resign is a longer sound at the end gives required rythm
But I will double check.
Love
ANEL
А Н Е Л 10.05.2004 09:23 Заявить о нарушении
O! I know: "I resign to my gloom"!
I hope I don't come across as imposing, I just had a flash in my brain in response to your ... response :) And you're right, it does work with longer "resign".
yours,
Хотылёва 10.05.2004 10:24 Заявить о нарушении
I hope I don't come across as imposing, I just had a flash in my brain in response to your ... response :) And you're right, it does work with longer "resign".
yours,
Хотылёва 10.05.2004 10:24 Заявить о нарушении